NOTE: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST - PREPARE TO READ...
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This is a very personal report to me.
Most of you folks on the server likely only barely know me. Some of you may know me a little better. So, because a report from a completely random person is likely not going to get any attention at all, I feel I need to provide some history for myself.
I’ve been playing on CS:S ZE since the beginning of the year 2024. I’m barely a year old here. And I may not have much history with any of you, but I do have a lot of history with @ notkoen – he and I go back a few years.
We first met when I started playing CS:GO ZE. That must have been around June or July 2020. We were both regulars on ZeddY^’s, which was a former ZE server based in Singapore. But we weren’t just regulars - Koen and I were both on the admin team. In fact, he and I became admins at the same time – we were recruited and inducted together.
I’m not going to say anything sappy, like the guy was like a brother to me or anything, because the truth is that he wasn’t – we weren’t really close. But, given that we were both admins and regulars on ZeddY^’s, we became quite familiar and friendly with one another over our years of playing ZE together. I formed a good impression of him – funny guy, energetic leader, slightly quirky, overall a delight to be around.
He and I both had our struggles with the management of that server, and I always felt a little bad about the fact that I wasn’t as supportive of him as I could have been. I knew him to be a talented developer – a particularly thankless role, and in recognition of that, I felt a certain level of gratitude to him.
I stopped playing CS:GO around end of year ’21, and stepped away for 2 years. Because of my shared experiences with Koen, I’ve always held a somewhat sympathetic attitude towards him. And I’ve similarly felt a slight sense of kinship with him too. I mean, we became admins together, that basically made us partners in my mind. Running into him again on occasion in CS:S was each time a welcome moment, like greeting an old friend.
It’s why Koen’s actions as of late have blindsided me entirely.
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To those of you outside of the loop, @ Snail recently exposed a few odd dealings that Koen’s had going on for a while now. Most of it is about the sort of people Koen seems to hang around with. It’s nothing good, but I find Koen’s explanations on the matter of his bad company to be satisfactory for the most part. There’s another part in Snail’s exposé that’s deadass a complete e-sex session between Koen and another individual, which I thought was funny as hell to read, but also a gross and flagrant violation of Koen’s right to privacy. @ Snail , I think you owe Koen an apology for that. And also, an apology to me, because in all that nasty stuff I read, I couldn’t identify a single crime Koen had committed.
Which brings me to the last part.
The evidence , courtesy of Snail. (His whole exposé can be found here)
(Script1NG, a ZE player, was 14 years old at the time of the above exchange)
This is the reason behind this report. Unless this evidence has been fabricated or falsified, I can’t see how it constitutes anything other than incriminating Koen as an individual who solicited an underage person for inappropriate pictures of their body.
In my personal conversation with Koen following this revelation, he assured me of the validity of the incident depicted above. He also told me that he did NOT in fact know Script1NG was underage at the time; he assumed Script1NG was an adult. This leads me to arrive at an inevitable conclusion that, as I have said before, has left me completely shocked.
Through his deplorable behaviour with Script1NG, Koen has betrayed me. He has betrayed my trust, and he has betrayed everything that he and I once stood for, together as admins. But worst of all, he has wracked me with guilt. Guilt that I failed to stop him.
As a former admin, it was once my duty to ensure that no one in my community could be harmed. I might have ultimately only made for a mediocre admin, but I tried my best to ensure that everyone in my community could be safe. That meant identifying potential threats to the community’s safety, and kicking them out.
Thus, the fact that my former partner himself has turned out to be such a potential threat is my ultimate failure. I failed to detect the dangerous behaviour from him in the years I spent interacting with him. If only I had, I could’ve stopped him, and prevented a lot of bad things from happening. All the harm he’s caused, is partly my fault as a result. It's a regret of mine that I will have to reckon with, and something that I wish to deeply apologize to you all for.
So now here I am, as a former admin of a long-dead server. I feel it’s only the right thing to do now, to see that justice is done, and my former partner made to pay for his mistakes, so that I may pay for mine.
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And unfortunately, Koen’s mistakes are very serious.
Let me just say that I do not personally believe in the worst-case scenario – that he is a groomer. I think this belief is supported in the proof attached above – when faced with information of Script1NG’s real age, Koen immediately backed down and apologized. Of course, there is the very real possibility that I am wrong, and/or an exchange of pictures did occur, but for now I will give him the benefit of the doubt on this topic and default to the safest assumption.
However, even if it was only an accident, it doesn’t change the fact that Koen still requested and almost had inappropriate contact with a minor. And given that this evidence is out in the public, it puts Koen in a very compromised position. The management team of NiDE needs to consider a serious response to this case. Members of the community are already memeing about Koen being a ‘pedo’. Burying this situation in the ground will not work at this stage.
Your server manager stands accused, with considerable proof, of attempting inappropriate contact with a minor. He needs to be dealt with accordingly. Offering him lenient treatment simply because he offered an apology and promised to "learn from the situation and get better" is inconsistent with the principle of zero-tolerance towards harassment of minors that this community should be upholding.
Even if he did not intend on contacting a minor, it was still Koen’s actions that have landed him in this situation and turned him into a server-wide embarrassment. This incident could have easily been avoided if he had exercised basic precautions, which he completely failed to do. And while he may not be guilty of the worst charges, it’s clear he is still very guilty of many blunders that have landed him in this hot water.
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Now, let me address @ notkoen directly.
You KNOW this game is FULL of children. Yet you never considered that before you ask one of your in-game friends for pictures of their stockings, you should first confirm what their age is? You WAIT until someone else tells you how old your friend is?? I shudder to think of what would've happened if you never got informed how of old Script1NG was. Forget getting demoted, your ass would 100% be going to jail.
And you know what? Sure, Script1NG turning out to be a kid may be the worst thing in this situation, but that isn't even the only thing that's odd about your behaviour. I must wonder why you are even requesting pictures from ZE players in the first place??? People are here to PLAY the game, not to satisfy your sex fantasies. There's like a bazillion different places on the internet that are full of all the femboys, anime girls and hot women you could ever hope for, who will happily fulfill any request you've got of them. Stockings, banana hammocks, f*ckin' aluminium foil idrc whatever you want them to wear they'll do it. Reddit, twitter, f*cking onlyfans it's truly limitless. I can't understand why you insist on bringing your behaviour to the ONE place on the internet that is populated with kids. The ONE place where your behaviour might actually make other people uncomfortable. IMO, it was only a matter of time before Snail or someone else would get tired of your shit and choose to expose you.
I am deeply disappointed and betrayed by your behaviour. MY dumb ass has to sit here, feel guilty and apologize for all this bullshit you put these people through. You better make a deep apology to @ Hobbitten and the rest of this community for all the trouble you've caused them. And I won't be convinced you've learnt any lesson from this really, until you lose your power and serve a punishment for a long while. Now, if management feels differently, then so be it. I said what I wanted to say. My job here is done.
