Locked Admin report: Koen

[Pantcake 2]

NOTE: THIS IS A VERY LONG POST - PREPARE TO READ...

X-----------------------------------X

This is a very personal report to me.

Most of you folks on the server likely only barely know me. Some of you may know me a little better. So, because a report from a completely random person is likely not going to get any attention at all, I feel I need to provide some history for myself.

I’ve been playing on CS:S ZE since the beginning of the year 2024. I’m barely a year old here. And I may not have much history with any of you, but I do have a lot of history with @ notkoen  – he and I go back a few years.

We first met when I started playing CS:GO ZE. That must have been around June or July 2020. We were both regulars on ZeddY^’s, which was a former ZE server based in Singapore. But we weren’t just regulars - Koen and I were both on the admin team. In fact, he and I became admins at the same time – we were recruited and inducted together.

I’m not going to say anything sappy, like the guy was like a brother to me or anything, because the truth is that he wasn’t – we weren’t really close. But, given that we were both admins and regulars on ZeddY^’s, we became quite familiar and friendly with one another over our years of playing ZE together. I formed a good impression of him – funny guy, energetic leader, slightly quirky, overall a delight to be around.

He and I both had our struggles with the management of that server, and I always felt a little bad about the fact that I wasn’t as supportive of him as I could have been. I knew him to be a talented developer – a particularly thankless role, and in recognition of that, I felt a certain level of gratitude to him.

I stopped playing CS:GO around end of year ’21, and stepped away for 2 years. Because of my shared experiences with Koen, I’ve always held a somewhat sympathetic attitude towards him. And I’ve similarly felt a slight sense of kinship with him too. I mean, we became admins together, that basically made us partners in my mind. Running into him again on occasion in CS:S was each time a welcome moment, like greeting an old friend.

It’s why Koen’s actions as of late have blindsided me entirely.

X-----------------------------------X

To those of you outside of the loop, @ Snail  recently exposed a few odd dealings that Koen’s had going on for a while now. Most of it is about the sort of people Koen seems to hang around with. It’s nothing good, but I find Koen’s explanations on the matter of his bad company to be satisfactory for the most part. There’s another part in Snail’s exposé that’s deadass a complete e-sex session between Koen and another individual, which I thought was funny as hell to read, but also a gross and flagrant violation of Koen’s right to privacy. @ Snail , I think you owe Koen an apology for that. And also, an apology to me, because in all that nasty stuff I read, I couldn’t identify a single crime Koen had committed.

Which brings me to the last part.

The evidence , courtesy of Snail. (His whole exposé can be found here)

(Script1NG, a ZE player, was 14 years old at the time of the above exchange)

This is the reason behind this report. Unless this evidence has been fabricated or falsified, I can’t see how it constitutes anything other than incriminating Koen as an individual who solicited an underage person for inappropriate pictures of their body.

In my personal conversation with Koen following this revelation, he assured me of the validity of the incident depicted above. He also told me that he did NOT in fact know Script1NG was underage at the time; he assumed Script1NG was an adult. This leads me to arrive at an inevitable conclusion that, as I have said before, has left me completely shocked.

Through his deplorable behaviour with Script1NG, Koen has betrayed me. He has betrayed my trust, and he has betrayed everything that he and I once stood for, together as admins. But worst of all, he has wracked me with guilt. Guilt that I failed to stop him.

As a former admin, it was once my duty to ensure that no one in my community could be harmed. I might have ultimately only made for a mediocre admin, but I tried my best to ensure that everyone in my community could be safe. That meant identifying potential threats to the community’s safety, and kicking them out.

Thus, the fact that my former partner himself has turned out to be such a potential threat is my ultimate failure. I failed to detect the dangerous behaviour from him in the years I spent interacting with him. If only I had, I could’ve stopped him, and prevented a lot of bad things from happening. All the harm he’s caused, is partly my fault as a result. It's a regret of mine that I will have to reckon with, and something that I wish to deeply apologize to you all for. 

So now here I am, as a former admin of a long-dead server. I feel it’s only the right thing to do now, to see that justice is done, and my former partner made to pay for his mistakes, so that I may pay for mine.

X-----------------------------------X

And unfortunately, Koen’s mistakes are very serious.

Let me just say that I do not personally believe in the worst-case scenario – that he is a groomer. I think this belief is supported in the proof attached above – when faced with information of Script1NG’s real age, Koen immediately backed down and apologized. Of course, there is the very real possibility that I am wrong, and/or an exchange of pictures did occur, but for now I will give him the benefit of the doubt on this topic and default to the safest assumption.

However, even if it was only an accident, it doesn’t change the fact that Koen still requested and almost had inappropriate contact with a minor. And given that this evidence is out in the public, it puts Koen in a very compromised position. The management team of NiDE needs to consider a serious response to this case. Members of the community are already memeing about Koen being a ‘pedo’. Burying this situation in the ground will not work at this stage.

Your server manager stands accused, with considerable proof, of attempting inappropriate contact with a minor. He needs to be dealt with accordingly. Offering him lenient treatment simply because he offered an apology and promised to "learn from the situation and get better" is inconsistent with the principle of zero-tolerance towards harassment of minors that this community should be upholding.

Even if he did not intend on contacting a minor, it was still Koen’s actions that have landed him in this situation and turned him into a server-wide embarrassment. This incident could have easily been avoided if he had exercised basic precautions, which he completely failed to do. And while he may not be guilty of the worst charges, it’s clear he is still very guilty of many blunders that have landed him in this hot water.

X-----------------------------------X

Now, let me address @ notkoen  directly.

You KNOW this game is FULL of children. Yet you never considered that before you ask one of your in-game friends for pictures of their stockings, you should first confirm what their age is? You WAIT until someone else tells you how old your friend is?? I shudder to think of what would've happened if you never got informed how of old Script1NG was. Forget getting demoted, your ass would 100% be going to jail.

And you know what? Sure, Script1NG turning out to be a kid may be the worst thing in this situation, but that isn't even the only thing that's odd about your behaviour. I must wonder why you are even requesting pictures from ZE players in the first place??? People are here to PLAY the game, not to satisfy your sex fantasies. There's like a bazillion different places on the internet that are full of all the femboys, anime girls and hot women you could ever hope for, who will happily fulfill any request you've got of them. Stockings, banana hammocks, f*ckin' aluminium foil idrc whatever you want them to wear they'll do it. Reddit, twitter, f*cking onlyfans it's truly limitless. I can't understand why you insist on bringing your behaviour to the ONE place on the internet that is populated with kids. The ONE place where your behaviour might actually make other people uncomfortable. IMO, it was only a matter of time before Snail or someone else would get tired of your shit and choose to expose you.

I am deeply disappointed and betrayed by your behaviour. MY dumb ass has to sit here, feel guilty and apologize for all this bullshit you put these people through. You better make a deep apology to @ Hobbitten  and the rest of this community for all the trouble you've caused them. And I won't be convinced you've learnt any lesson from this really, until you lose your power and serve a punishment for a long while. Now, if management feels differently, then so be it. I said what I wanted to say. My job here is done.

[BlooD 28]

Relax buddy , no one is  accusing Koen with anything . We don't care . We want our guy leader back bro @ Mobile Task Force Leader Gunner   to be Unmuted  and his admin privileges revived . He was treated unfairly from the whole staff . I personally think that way . The other things are insignificant at least for me . I want mobile back don't care about the other drama. Peace out  

[notkoen 153]

Hello @ Pantcake ,

Thank you for taking the time to write a complete report, and appreciate you including your own background to provide context to others the relationship we had prior to this. I would like to address your report and provide clarification on several matters.

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

Unless this evidence has been fabricated or falsified, I can’t see how it constitutes anything other than incriminating Koen as an individual who solicited an underage person for inappropriate pictures of their body.

First, I want to state that I had no intentions on having scripting send any images at all. The intention of my message was meant to be a joke to play along with the conversation. Scripting was already labeled as a "femboy" by several other members of the community, so I sent the message asking for "thigh high pics" as a joke. In retrospect, it was an inappropriate message to send to someone underage, and I fully recognize the seriousness of my messages and the negative connotations it carries. Attached below is a screenshot of Script1ng being associated with femboys, which led me to send the messages in question:

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

it doesn’t change the fact that Koen still requested and almost had inappropriate contact with a minor.

Given the explanation above, I would like to state that I have also never reached out to scripting privately to ask for pictures. I have uploaded a transcript of my private messages with scripting, which you can download here. For full transparency, the messages were exported using Discrub, and no external modifications/edits were done after downloading the chat logs. Scripting himself can also attest to the fact that I have never reached out to him privately further asking for pictures. So besides the message that was sent on the Nide Discord server, no further inappropriate messages were sent.

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

In my personal conversation with Koen following this revelation, he assured me of the validity of the incident depicted above. He also told me that he did NOT in fact know Script1NG was underage at the time; he assumed Script1NG was an adult

When you reached out to me privately, I owned up to sending the inappropriate messages in the screenshots that Snail had provided in his document. I want to clarify that I was unaware of Scripting's actual age. I had incorrectly assumed that he was overage given how he has played ZE for several years at the time of the messages, shown maturity when dealing with other players, as well as discussing mature topics like "femboy" many times. I had seen scripting for a while, way before I joined Nide as a server manager as he was a frequent CS:GO ze player that traveled other servers. It was because of these factors that I had assumed he was overage. It was only shortly after sending the messages that a player let me know that scripting was underage, and hence why I immediately deleted my messages, backtracked on my inappropriate joke, and apologized to him.

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

You KNOW this game is FULL of children. Yet you never considered that before you ask one of your in-game friends for pictures of their stockings, you should first confirm what their age is? You WAIT until someone else tells you how old your friend is??

I am an emotional and social person that very often speak what is on my mind without any filter. You can attest to this behavior since my days on Zeddy's many years ago, and is also why I had gotten in trouble many times there for speaking my mind. Given my reasoning stated prior, I had incorrectly assumed scripting was overage, and I then proceeded to make a joke based on the situation without ever considering the impression it gives nor the actual age of Scripting. It was fully my mistake for assuming a person's age and making jokes/comments that are inappropriate to talk about, and I will own up to this.

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

but that isn't even the only thing that's odd about your behaviour. I must wonder why you are even requesting pictures from ZE players in the first place??? People are here to PLAY the game, not to satisfy your sex fantasies.

First, the message asking for thigh high pics was meant to be a joke. Talking about thigh highs is a meme in of itself ("programmer socks" as referred by the internet), and the messages that were sent in Chinese is also a joke in the Chinese ze scene given how many actual femboys there are. I'm not going to deny that the message being sent as a joke, without context, is completely inappropriate and can make other people feel uncomfortable. However, I am making it clear that I had no ill intentions with my message besides it being a joke to poke fun at scripting being associated with femboys.

Second, as mentioned in Snail's document, I admit to being a degenerate. I have done ERP before and cracked made many sexual jokes with people before. Many people across several communities can attest to my open-minded and no-filter nature to crack sex jokes given the opportunity as part of my way of socializing. Because I always treated it as a joke, I never gave any second thought to how others would feel about my comments, nor did I ever stop to consider the negative connotations and impressions my messages would give off. I understand that while I am overly social and perverted with my comments, I need to be careful with the things I say and who I say it to. I never had any intentions to hurt anyone as I want nothing but to make people smile and laugh with my dumb jokes.

Third, I want to clarify that I always viewed Zombie Escape, and online communities in general as a way to socialize with people. There was a time when I would treat ZE seriously and focus on playing the game, I have shifted my mentality to more of a social game to hang out and have fun. Hence why I do not feel any shame in befriending people and cracking similar sex jokes and inappropriate comments. I understand that many people do not view the game the same way, but that is how I view the game and why I would make said comments.

On 8/2/2025 at 10:27 AM, Pantcake said:

I am deeply disappointed and betrayed by your behaviour. MY dumb ass has to sit here, feel guilty and apologize for all this bullshit you put these people through. You better make a deep apology to @ Hobbitten  and the rest of this community for all the trouble you've caused them.

The lesson I learned here, and have made strides to improve on since the first report months ago, was that I need to be careful with the things I say and do in public. While I these jokes may be funny to few, I need to realize that there are times and places where such comments are completely inappropriate. I should also be careful with who I say these things to, as some may either be underage or uncomfortable with what I say. I will take full responsibility for my actions, and own up to the criticisms that many have expressed towards me. I acknowledge in being immature and a degenerate, and will aim to continue improving myself.

I want to first apologize to you @ Pantcake  as my actions shattered your perception of me, and that I had betrayed your trust. It was never my intentions to betray you, but I understand where you are coming from with your comments. I enjoyed the memories we shared on Zeddy's years prior, and feel ashamed that this is how we reconnect years later. I always viewed you as a reasonable person, so I will take your criticisms to heart and will work to improve on. I'm sorry for everything, and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me one day for my actions.

I also wanted to apologize to @ Hobbitten  for how things were handled on Nide. The clear lack of maturity from my end is clear from both this case and the prior case concerning a banned player. I understand that my actions have led to many issues in the community, and have put a strain on the relationship between the Nide management team and the players. I will take responsibility for my actions and submit myself to any disciplinary actions management has for me. I understand the things that happened were my fault, and I fully own up to the things I have outlined.

Lastly, I want to apologize to the rest of the Nide community, and really the entire Zombie Escape community, if my actions and words have ever made anyone uncomfortable. I never had any ill intention to hurt someone, and only ever cared about befriending everyone while keeping a funny mood. I now understand that not everyone sees things the same way as I do, and I have taken this lesson of thinking before saying/doing to my heart. I will work on improving myself as a person, and hope people can forgive me.

[dsvdsvd 21]

No one cares about your all's shared grievances. @ Pantcake  and anyone really, how about stop throwing baseless accusations and interpretation on out of context messages. And stop harassing the admins and let them focus on their admin/server stuff instead of having to deal with this shit-posting.

Regardless the whole situation, admins should just stick to the server rules. If the rules are vague, compromise and revise your rules so this doesn't happen again. Everything else is pointless drama. End of story

Just play the game and let admins be more present on the server than here

[Greber 27]

can we all stop throwing Accusations at each other what is this come on man we gotta do better then that 

[Pantcake 2]

I’ve had some more time to think about this and now come to realize that my initial understanding of the situation was based on a big overreaction to a flawed piece of evidence. It is a very embarrassing failure on my part. I would go deeper into why I acted the way I did, but I do not think anyone here wants to read another 1500+ word, very emotionally charged post again. So, suffice it to say that I am somewhat stupid, and leave it at that.

And I want to apologize to you, @ notkoen , for putting you on blast like that. It was a completely unfair way to treat you. Especially from me, given our history. I owe you better than this. There are a LOT of things I said to you that I am going to find it very awkward trying to resolve with you in the future. Thank you for taking my feelings, as flawed as they were, seriously.

And I want to go on record and say that I publicly withdraw my accusation. I no longer maintain that you should be held responsible or punished for anything I alleged in my earlier post. Given that my allegations themselves are fundamentally incorrect. I would also like to make an apology to the admins I might have harassed, and to everyone who bothered to read my post. You can safely close this thread here.

[ADS 14]

@ dsvdsvd

Don't worry about that at all. A drama like this won't change anything about the fact that moderation on Nide has been a disaster for the past two years.

That 90% of the current admins are just there to nominate maps on the admin list, protecting/unbanning their  friends(and after what i have see recently even when they are a f*cking pedo ), always going after the same people(even when doing nothing they find a way for creat a new imaginary troll), giving immunity to sanctions to players with only 30 hours on the server just because they're 'new', excessively extending maps by an hour even though they can literally be played every day due to their completely broken cooldowns (hello omisace v6, minas, and mako v6), allowing Yek trolling so that toxic griefers and Russian/Chinese players with their retex can get their solo screenshot, and handing out fake punishments like yesterday when a guy got a one-week eban for trolling an entire round even though he already had a history of 12 ebans

So don't worry, it's not going to bother anyone at all

 

i want add something, i m totally agree with this topic :

 

Last year, he let his friend Djinnz do whatever he wanted on the server for months, and on top of that, he gave him the LSA after just two weeks of trial. Hobbiten allowed his friend to commit hundreds of abuses with complete impunity.

And also, if Mobile and Snail hadn't pushed back at least a little, he would have let a pedophile come play on Nide with complete impunity

Edited August 3 by DisLeursKizarete

[.Rushaway 393]

Closed until management reply. 

[.Rushaway 393]

Reply from management:
After carefully reviewing the situation regarding Koen, the management has decided not to apply any sanctions against him.

We have taken into account the context, the explanations provided, as well as the fact that Koen was not aware of the other person’s age at the time, and that he immediately acknowledged his mistake, deleted the message, and apologized as soon as he was informed.

We would like to remind everyone that the official minimum age for using Discord is 13, and for playing Counter-Strike: Source it is 16.
However, it remains important to exercise caution and respect in all interactions, especially when the age of others is not clearly established.

Even without bad intentions, certain comments or jokes can be misinterpreted by other members.
We encourage everyone to be thoughtful and responsible in their communications.

The safety and well-being of all members remain our top priority.
We remain attentive to the community and encourage everyone to report any inappropriate behavior.

Thank you for your understanding.
 

My personal POV:

• If Scripting felt harassed/uncomfortable, he could have contacted any staff member, like any member can do.
• If you don't like the current management methods, no one forces you to stay here. Feel free to create your own community and manage it the way you want.

I personally don't care about the point of view of people who have a long history of punishments on NiDE.